Ignoring Bad Feelings Magnifies Them
When somebody gets upset and you can see that their emotions are bubbling near the surface, it’s important to acknowledge those emotions without putting them in charge.
“I can see that this bothers you” or “I understand that this is upsetting” lets the emotions know that they’ve done their job – they got the problem noticed. But don’t get stuck on the emotions – go right back to finding a solution. “What can we do to make this better?”
When emotions are ignored or pushed down, they get stronger and LOUDER until they’ve been acknowledged. Only when the feelings know that their problem is being addressed can they subside and give the emotional mind a rest so that the logical mind can work on solving the problem.
To ignore or refuse to acknowledge negative emotions – including your own – is just asking for an even bigger emotional outburst.
Same Rule for Happy Feelings
It’s easier to enjoy and acknowledge a person’s ‘up’ emotions. When there’s an internal celebration going on, let it come out and be happy in a crowd! The reward is anchoring the good mood so that it is easier to return to that happy place and strengthening the relationship because you openly shared in their .
It’s okay to join in joyous emotions and better to just be observant with unhappy emotions. Emotions are constructive when they point the way to a solution or a positive attitude.